Here’s ALL the Approval You Will Ever Need

Do you often hear the term, “you have everything you need inside of you” thrown around? It used make me a little nuts because I was so invested in looking externally for EVERYTHING I needed.

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Do you often hear the term, "you have everything you need inside of you" thrown around?

It used make me a little nuts because I was so invested in looking externally for EVERYTHING I needed.

Photographer: Jennifer Castner | Source: Unsplash

It’s actually true though! D'oh!

Life teaches us to look externally for approval.

When we small children we get taught we have to check in with our parents. Then we start school and have teachers looking over the shoulders all the time and we have to work hard to earn that gold star right

Guess what? You’re grown-up now.

So if you still find you need external approval, what I want you to starting doing this thing called SELF VALIDATION.

It’s quite simple when you trust into it.

To get you started, I want to go to the mirror, look deeply into your own eyes and say the following OUT LOUD. (Don't worry if anyone at home thinks your nuts, they too will start doing it when they see how its helping you to change your life)

  • I believe in you.
  • You’ve got this.
  • You know what’s right for you.
  • Keep going because it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

You might want to put that on a post-it note on the mirror as a reminder to yourself to say it every single day. (And that way anyone else at home can easily do it too)

Things to do
Photographer: AbsolutVision | Source: Unsplash

You might even get to the point where all you need to say as you look deeply into your own eyes full of love, self respect and care is quite simply this: "I love and approve of myself" (you can then give yourself a high five in the mirror and start your day)

You really don’t need everybody else’s approval.

Happy Day
Photographer: Clem Onojeghuo | Source: Unsplash

It doesn’t matter what social media says is the in thing or the right way for things to happen.

It also doesn’t matter what your parents used to say or even believe to be true about your life enow.

It doesn’t matter what your friends think about how you live your life (and if they are judging fuckers are they really friends?)

It matters what’s going on inside your own heart.

And that being the case, let’s make it good feelings, self validation and a life happily lived.

Love you!

Hey gorgeous, if you find you need approval from others, your inner voice isn't always on your side and sometimes life feels like your always pushing shit up hill, take the quiz!

Lets see where the inner critic stands in your world and lets starts getting the voice on your side.

Take the quiz here: http://bit.ly/ImposterStanding

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I Hate You But I Love You 2019.

2019 you cracked me open and showed me parts of myself I didn’t want to acknowledge. You pulled me apart and in the shattered pain I put myself back together.

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#thispouredoutofmyheartthismorning

A tough year of pain with joy moments scattered in between.

We almost slid off… the house is on a cliff…
Photographer: ZACHARY STAINES | Source: Unsplash

2019 you cracked me open and showed me parts of myself I didn’t want to acknowledge.

You pulled me apart and in the shattered pain I put myself back together.

A newer version.

Fresh and fit, full of a new view of myself.

2019 was supposed to be THE year.

That magical year where everything comes together and everything works. Business, friendships and love.

I day dreamed that 2019 was the year of getting THE ring, and planning a happy forever after.

I could see my business taking off and finally breaking the six figure window.

It didn’t work that way.

I launched my amazing programme Embrace thinking I was facilitating for others but it came along at the right time to also allow me to facilitate myself.

We all know there is no random things in the universe.

Stars Galaxy Rocky Mountain
Photographer: Jeremy Thomas | Source: Unsplash

I was divinely guided, abet kicking and screaming to face my own shadow and to decide.

Contract or expand.

Face the truth of life, love and the universe.

To be better, to own what I truly desired.

As 2020 starts to peak its cute button nose over the horizon I have stopped fighting.

Resistance is futile when you know, you have always known why you are here.

Behind the scenes I have cried tears of despair and I hit rock bottom. Now I climb back up, but it’s a climb upwards I have taken before so now I own the short cut.

Thank you everyone for being my friend, sending me love, being a client and supporting the work as it grows.

A new programme is about to be birthed and it is the sum of the year 2019. It’s been created with love, tears, belief and honesty.

I am the fittest and strongest I have EVER been mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Photographer: Form | Source: Unsplash

I have never seen my future with so much clarity and certainty.

I believe in me.

I see you and I believe in you too.

We’ve all got this.

The Universe/God does have our back.

I love you.

JOIN MY FREE FB GROUP TODAY!

Click the image below.

You're ready to welcome so much more into your life.
More happiness, fun, money and a life of purpose awaits.
Join my free group to get started on your up level!

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Don’t Do it Sparkles!

Today I am sharing a brutally honest opinion as I review my life and the decision to go into business fo myself and contemplate my life if I had of chosen to stay in employment.

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Or why I would tell myself to not get into business….

Today I am sharing a brutally honest opinion as I review my life and the decision to go into business fo myself and contemplate my life if I had of chosen to stay in employment.

Urban rush, Toronto, 2019
Photographer: Jane Palash | Source: Unsplash

When I decided to go the path of setting up a coaching businessI had zero fucking idea on what I really needed to be doing.

I was pumped up win the juice of personal development seminars and the false belief that all I needed to do is tell people how I could help them and boom: clients would rain down out of the sky throwing cash and accolades of brilliance and love at me.

I was super conditioned to be a worker.

Burnout is NEVER a good reason to start a business.

To take a holiday, yes but start a business….. NO FUCKING WAY.

Yet off I went with a smile, enthusiasm and a lot of people telling me I was on the way to change thousands of lives and making loads of cash.

So what didn't work?

Photographer: Alexander Mils | Source: Unsplash

I didn't understand:

  • What a niche was and why I needed it.
  • What marketing was and how it worked.
  • The technology was totally foreign to me.
  • I still thought like an employee.

Not everyone is cut out for being in business unless they do the inner work first and/or start with a side hustle.

I would go back to myself ten years ago and say "Hey chick, take a holiday before you decide about starting a business.

You can do this but lets keep a part time job because the cash flow for the first five years is not what you're used to as an employee.

Also you need to use discernment on who you work with and be careful of peoples agendas when they are offering support.

You don't have to sacrifice your life for a dream. If it's not working, let it go and start over.

Maybe just do coaching as a side hustle and go back to your job. The security, freedom and peace of mind is worth it."

As you can see, I went all in.

It hurt me long term, so many things suffered.

  • Emotional health
  • Relationships
  • Super annunation
  • No holidays

Are just a few things.

Consider a side hustle to get you started.

Make sure youre clear on the big picture and the details of what youre looking to build.

There is no rush to quit your job inspire of what the all in gurus say.

If you decide you're in for a business, get support.

Not just business support but mindset and imposter voice support.

Getting help to become a business owner from the very start of my experience would have made all the difference to my results.

That's why I now do the work I do.

The inner work is critical for your success.

All the systems in the world won't make business fun if you're stressed out of your mind.

Stop the sacrifice and struggle before you begin.

If you choose to begin at all….

👑 🌼 🤩 👑 🌼 🤩

If you're afraid of being ordinary and procrastinate on the task you know will get you the biggest results book a FREE 20minute: Whats really Holding You Back call here: I want to take action!

On this call we review one area of your life and decide if it's fear, overwhelm or self worth that's stopping you and look at the top way you can move forward.

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How do you bridge the chasm between possible and impossible?

It’s easy to set up a belief system that you can’t do something, because it’s all based on past experience and evidence? I mean we all “fail” at doing things right?

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It’s easy to set up a belief system that you can’t do something, because it’s all based on past experience and evidence?

I mean we all "fail" at doing things right?

Usually its the first few times we do something new which really is a false equivalence but still…

It locks in a belief that we CAN'T.

Which limits our confidence going forward.

Just do it
Photographer: Andrew Tanglao | Source: Unsplash

Our brains are wonderful things and don’t know the difference between real and imagined, which is brilliant for us!

This is where visualisation comes into play.

Take running for example!I had a believe that I couldn’t run and that only my sister sisters got that particular "fitness gene" but then I got curious about what would happen if I decided I could.

One day I decided to see how far I COULD run!

*Please note I’d already been working on my fitness, on my health, eating better food, walking daily, doing more stretches and yoga so my body was already getting fit enough to be able to run.

So I picked the places I wanted to run in before I started running.

I started imagining completing the run in incremental parts.

  • Run to the corner of the street.
  • Then run two blocks with out stopping.
  • Run three blocks but have s stretch rest in the middle. 🤣

Now I can run four blocks non-stop!

It was a great challenge to see what I could achieve using the power of creating a new decision, visualisation and setting myself up with a new habit in my mind.

It's so empowering to make htis change.

If you can do this in one area of your life, you are able to transfer this across ALL Area software your life.

Track Background
Photographer: Andrew McElroy | Source: Unsplash

What's the belief that you would like to change?

Think how does it have an impact on your life, business or relationships?

What is the driver behind it, are you moving towards a positive outcome or away from what you don't want?

Are you curious about how to change it?

Do you have a plan?

If it feels like a big change, break it down into smaller steps so it feels easier to start.

I'd love to hear what you're creating.

I work with women to shift beliefs and make big changes in their lives.

If you need help, book a fifteen minute call to ask me to ask how I can help you out.

BOOK HERE: http://bit.ly/LetsTalkBizGoals

*Consult your medical practitioner before starting a strenuous fitness routine, especially when you haven't been doing anything.

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Is coaching hindering your happiness?

“If it’s not in your subconscious it’s not impacting your manifestation because it’s unknown and has no emotion attached to it”. Esther and Abraham. Yet the coaching industry teaches you to go looking for “it”

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“If it’s not in your subconscious it’s not impacting your manifestation because it’s unknown and has no emotion attached to it”. Esther and Abraham.

Yet the coaching industry teaches you to go looking for "it"

  • Uncover the trauma from childhood.
  • Reconnect with the bad memories from high school.
  • Live once again the fights with your mother that changed your life.
  • Reasons for having the imposter voice in your head.
Smiling woman by a window
Photographer: Brooke Cagle | Source: Unsplash

When do we get to a point the past is the past, it is what it is, and we can decide to be happy?

I don’t wanna talk about traumas any more.

If we keep getting pulled back into "it" and keep thinking about "it" and keep talking about "it" we keep mylinating the neural pathway, we keep wiring in the emotion, and we don’t heal.

We keep staying stuck in that energy and emotion and change is harder than it needs to be.

Year in therapy, falling apart over and over, reviewing the bad, wondering why it happened to you and you keep spinning your wheels over something that you can't go back and change.

What if healing only needed to be acceptance of what was, an extrapolation of the lesson and a plan to move forward?

If it’s called personal development why are so many people floundering staying stuck?

I see the fixation of one modality been the best medium for supporting change for clients, which is actually limiting a great coaches of work on all levels.

Different modalities help, yes but there is so much more to be discovered.

If you want to manifest your dream life, stop focusing on your trauma.

Talking about now past issues over and over again makes them more activated: it gives the "it" more energy and you can make it harder to turn it around.

Take a moment and shift how you’re feeling now.

It can be that simple when you keep working to this philosophy and make a decision for it to be so.

You can’t change the circumstances of the past, you can’t change the people, you can’t change the interactions.

What you can do is change your NOW to shift your manifestation.

  • The manifestation will shift as fast as your vibration.
  • How you feel now is your point of attraction.
  • Are your feelings and beliefs and real or now for this moment in time, or have you been programmed?

When I say programmed, I mean by how people tell us we should think, how we should feel, how we should be responding, based on beliefs formed from others past experiences on top of our own.

If the past to present in your now going back and digging into it more in trenches it deeply and more strongly.

I’ve realised after being in the coaching industry for 10 years the real work is to feel differently in the current situation.

It’s that simple.

You can get help to feel differently at the on going back and digging into the energy of the past it doesn’t serve you now but this is what most coaching creates.

We spend hours doing detailed personal change questionnaires, digging in looking for comparisons in past life to current life to future life experiences and looking to match the pain.

Coaching is $1 billion industry, focused on pain.

My question is how did we all get so broken to begin with?

Photographer: Jens Johnsson | Source: Unsplash

It’s time to stop supporting what you don’t want, stop the critiques and start the self loving.

If you want a hand I'm running a low price mini course to show you how to love the inner voice, get present int he now and shift from unhappy to confident.

Join me for ten days to ditch the imposter: Sign me UP!

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You can feel good and be successful!

You have the power to make a different decision to make and your choice to step out of the pain the frustration to stop isolating yourself and to find a life that fulfills you in all areas

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Five years ago I was frustrated, not able to communicate what I needed, had isolated myself and was taking on board things that I really didn’t need to be taking on board.

So what needed to change?

I wanted to have a successful business and feel good.

Everyone around me had an opinion on what I needed to do.

  • Go harder in my sales process
  • Charge more
  • Quit my part time job and go all in on my business
  • Work harder

So what did change?

Totally took care of me!

Petal I changed.

I knew that I had to break some ties and go within to change my life.

What’s happening inside reflects all over how the rest of your world shows up.

And you have the power to make a different decision to make and your choice to step out of the pain the frustration to stop isolating yourself and to find a life that fulfills you in all areas

So take time and think about what you really want?

Honestly what do you really want?

Coffee Break
Photographer: Jon Ly | Source: Unsplash

What made inside you is actually being ignored? Are you not getting enough attention, do you feel out of control, are you not handling your money well, do you feel like to get a result you have to transform into some control freak, bossy crazy lady?

It’s time to stop the crazy, it’s time to start living well.

It’s time to create a life you love both business and personal.

If youre a coach with a message click this image and go get the free book I white for you to become a magnetic messenger in your niche xxx

Photographer: Product School | Source: Unsplash

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Want to work 1:1with me?

Did you know you could do a half day, all day or even a two day business planning intensive with me?

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I know, how AMAZING!

Did you know you could do a half day, all day or even a two day business planning intensive with me?

Live and in the room at my house!!

Highly personalised one to one training and business development.

We work on your:

  • Mindset strategy
  • Energy both yours and your message
  • Signature systems
  • Online courses
  • Sales processes

Lets birth what it is that you truly want to share with the world.

And it doesn’t matter if you live interstate.

I’ll pick you up from the airport and I’ve got a room so you can stay the night

Let’s get your business built strong before 2020 starts.

Book a call to discuss: http://bit.ly/LetsTalkBizGoals

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Time To Shine… Yes YOU!

So many people are afraid of being “seen” online and believe it or not I had my own stuff to work through and get past to be where I am today.

Here’s my story, which I shared in a FB group that I am in today.
I think many will relate to my story today.

I didn’t have very many consistent friends in primary school, I would have a friend for awhile an then they would move onto other better friends.

Even in high school I was a fringe dweller. Able to move between groups but usually hanging out with the nerds. (I was runner up in our high school chess tournament in year 9 lol.)

I was the weird one, a mix of pretty, sporty, nerdy, school band and teachers pet but also the one that would surprise people with acts of rebellion.

I read too many books, and my humour was mature as I grew up way to fast due to life experiences, so kids in my class didn’t “get” it or me.

I wrote stories beyond my years and lived most of the time in far away places in my imagination. Books were my friend. They never told me I was anything, they let me just be.

I was super smart and always won awards but these awards, both in primary school and high where always met with hostility from my peers, shaming with comments like “you only got that because you’re poor” or “what’s so special about her?” when I won awards for performance in high school.

For a long time standing out and shining was also connected to shaming, pain and humiliation.

Even in my clubbing days I was disliked because I was a good dancer by the girls and standing out bought me the wrong attentions of the males.

Showing up online was a bigger stretch than I realised at first.

There were fun times like doing videos of lip syncing, and crazy selfies and sharing pictures of my cats.

There was also the negative times of being told to keep my opinion to myself because certain people would get pissed off. Getting trolled and sealioned.

I totally get the fears we may have about showing up and being seen online.

May I add, pushing past that has allowed me to connect with amazing clients I now call friends, to work in a business that I am 100% passionate about and committed to and to not work 80hrs a week for big biz that only cares about profits and doesn’t care about the people making it happen.

It’s been a process to trust mentors again and to trust that there are people out there that do want you to succeed.

Trust… I trust now more than I think I ever had. If you’re stuck with the showing up and moving past whats stopping you, PM me, lets chat.

What A Bad Date Taught Me About Business

I met a guy when I was young and I went on a date with him.

It started out quite well, he was very charming, he picked me up and took me to a very nice restaurant.

He even pulled the chair out for me! Ooh-lala

I’ve always liked simple food and being on a date where you thought it might end with a good night kiss, I was very careful about what I ordered.

Stinky foods, foods that stick in teeth, food that wouldn’t have me looking like a guts hahaha.

But he wasn’t concerned and this is where the bad part of the date began.

I don’t like fish/fishy foods and I don’t like strange textured food. Food that has stong smells, no thanks.

I’ve always been like that so what did he order for entrée?

He ordered garlic prawns!

The BIIIIIIG ones.

I could smell them from across the table, it was so strong.

It was clear to me from that point on, he wasn’t getting a good night kiss.

Then the real bad started…

He offered me a taste.

I knew from the smell I’m wouldn’t enjoy it.

I knew I didn’t like fish, which I told him.

But he insisted.

“One mouthful, come on, if you’ve never had prawns you won’t know until you do”

This was a really nice restaurant by the way.

REALLY nice. Soft lighting, nice décor, room between the tables so you weren’t disturbed but other peoples conversations.

But after he insisted non-stop for five minutes I relented.

BIIIIIG mistake.

The texture alone made me feel like I was in a horror movie. (You know the ones, where they torture people and make them eat each others fingers to survive)

The tatse, which I already knew I would NOT enjoy kicked in my gag reflex uncontrollably.

All I wanted to do was vomit.

There was no way I was going to swallow that!

So I bought my beautiful linen napkin up to my mouth and spat the chewed up bit of prawn (well two chews I think is as far as I got) right on into it.

He was mortified.

I was too busy attempting to not vomit to pay him much attention at first.

After I stopped a dry retching and had a drink my wine, I saw his face and realised this would be our first and last date.

Awkwardly we continued to struggle on through the rest of the meal and I attempted to discreetly hide my napkin.

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

The drive home was quiet.

He didn’t walk me to the door. But that was no surprise.

Why am I sharing this?

There’s always a lesson.

Imagine in that moment, it was your potential client in front of you and you kept offering them something they didn’t want.

Eventually they might buy or in this case bite, but eventually you will drive them away.

Take the time to listen to what they are saying.

Yes, we get excited about what we have off on offer, but pay attention to what your client wants.

Sometimes we do know what’s best for them and sometimes they won’t take up on the offer and that’s okay too.

Pay attention and they won’t be asking for refunds (or spit your favourite programme or service back up in front of you, into a refund napkin! Hahahha what a visual right?)

Have you been on a date from hell?

Feel free to share your story.

And your lesson…..?

Tech-Tacular Extravaganza

Ten days ago I started the perilous and stretching journey of changing my CRM (customer relationship manger) software over from Infusionsoft (or Confusionsoft as I sometimes affectionally call it) to Convertkit.
To change to Convertkit, I have had to export my list from IS to CK. If given a choice I would have preferred to walk on hot coals but my business needed this change to happen so I took the step.

First time I messed up and then had to delete and start again.

Yes there was some cursing… actually there was cursing and eating of chocolate.

The second time I hadn’t set up all the sign up offers in CK to tag you in CK. (Tags are what is used to show you who signed up for what etc in your CRM. They also show up as groups of people when you search them in one easy touch of the button if required)

Arghhhh (can you hear the throaty gurgling sound that was coming out of my throat as I realised my error?)

I could delete AGAIN, go back and set up tags, re-import the list, see if that worked with matching up tags and hope for the best….

Or

The newer people on the list I could manually tag.

I made the time smart decision to start fresh and put you all in the one tag of newsletter. The retagging can be a nice late afternoon activity while I drink tea and eat cake.

So that will happen in a month maybe. >.< Learning NOTE: use tags and ask for help if you ever have to export so you don’t need to manually tag each subscriber with old tags. Convertkit was easy to connect with WordPress where my website is. Only one hiccup over all. The software Optinskin that, when people sign up for my free stuff or the newsletter isn’t compatible with CK. I can either get a developer in to write code or the CK support team can help make up something in CK that works the same. So thats till under repair/advice at this stage. I have two weeks to get it sorted and then go back through all my old sign ups and change them over too. NO PRESSURE! Learning NOTE: This could potentially derail sign ups and opt ins, do you stop everything until it’s fixed or do a work around? I choose work around. (This will make sense when you get to the end of newsletter) So CK set up is more than halfway there! YAY I am celebrating. (Incase you’re wondering why I am changing, I have been sharing I.S with my former business partner and I.S, while amazing, it has so many features that I won’t use and a $300pm price tag. CK is $40 and while isn’t as flexible in some areas, it does the job I need. If you’re starting out this could be a great option) Convertkit -> WordPress -> Optimise Press -> Eway so far so good, 70% complete.

And because I love my tech so much nd it wouldn’t be a Tech-Tacluar Extravaganza if I was only doing one techie thing I started another!

Yes that’s right, I am either going mad or I am inspired! (I’ll let you decide)

I am also in the process of setting up The Creative Brain in Thinkific.

Thinkific is a new and super cool platform for people to set up all their online courses for people to purchase of go get the cool free things from. (Mine will have both and The Creative Brain is going to be my online learning portal, I’ll share some more with you next week about that)

Thinkific needs to talk to Convertkit: check!

Thinkific doesn’t integrate with my payment gateway so I had to set up Stripe: check!

Thinkific is now almost ready to be launched with programmes on it; One more week is the deadline I have set so almost check!

Deeeeeep breathe Sparkles, you got this!

If you’ve read this far and wondering why I have shared this, firstly thank you for sticking around. There are a few reasons.

The newsletters I’m now sending out, look different. It’s still me!

I haven’t figured out how to schedule their delivery time so at this stage of the tech-tacluar change over, they won’t consistently hit your inbox at Monday morning 9.30am.

Soz. I’ll get there.

I also wanted you to start getting some insight into what’s available if you’re ready to start walking the path of tech.

I know a lady who registered for I.S. It wasn’t what she needed and was a big cost to her start up. She is now paying $300 a month and a big part of that could have been used for marketing.

The system supports you to make money but it isn’t the thing that makes it.

Tech can be the thing that stops people from taking action and moving forward. Please don’t let that be you. Ask for help!

Tech could be the thing that stops me from sharing a freebie with you. But it’s not going to be, imperfect action outdoes waiting for the perfect moment.

I wrote a little ebook called “Whats Really Stopping You”

You can sign up for it here: What’s Really Stopping You (give it a click)

BUT HERES THE BUG BIT

When you sign up the download link won’t hit your inbox til the following day. (I’m waiting for support to help me fix that)

The competition page won’t tell me if you’ve entered yet. If you want to be eligible for a prize, email me the answer and your phone number so I can call you to tell you what you have won. (I’m getting help in adding in an additional form to capture that information)

I could have waited week for it to be perfect but that’s not practicing what I preach.

Take the action.

Tech is our friend, even when it’s not working perfectly.

Just love it and ask for help to getting it doing what you need to do.

Have a great week x

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