Month: November 2019

[et_pb_section][et_pb_row][et_pb_column][et_pb_text]

Can you empower women while fucking a married man?

I read a post on Facebook where a woman shared her "truth" about having an affair with a married man and being totally ok with it.

No guilt, no worry about being caught out (posting it publicly probably has all her married friends running to check their husbands phones)

She is an empowerment coach for women, yet is quite happy to admit she sleeping with a married man.

It seems like a contradiction to me.

I read her post more than once and nowhere in there did she say that the other woman was open to this situation or that the woman even knew about it.

Hence it being an affair.

The post read as to me a woman saying "I am beyond reproach. I can do what I want because I’m speaking my truth and I am a coach" especially when the push back began in the comments.

I chose not to engage in the post itself but did want to ask "As long as you’re speaking your truth, it makes your shitty behaviour OK?"

It is this what the coaching industry has turned into?

This is something that I believe is really wrong with the coaching industry at present, the whole "I am in my truth so any judgement you have against me is YOUR problem"

Chick, when you shared that with a nude photo of yourself, you actually stank of desperation and needing of approval.

Nothing empowering in the post or image at all.

I have nothing wrong with open relationships, polyamory, if it works for everyone.

I don’t mind I don’t care as long as it’s all consensual but having been the woman whose partner was sleeping with another woman myself, I found her post particularly disturbing.

She wasnt in a vulnerable situation herslef, she knew her behaviour would hurt the other woman.

But to dress it up as being empowered?

As a coach I would expect her to understand the repercussions of her behavior on another person who didn’t asked to be in that situation

I also understand that she was also using the situation as a chance to polarise her audience.

Polarising your audience can be amazing for your marketing. I've done it and maybe this post will ruffle a few feathers.

I loathe it being used in a way that really hurts and upsets people. And as an excuse to justify your shitty behaviour.

Has the coaching industry gotten so askew that it’s now an excuse for behavior that hurts others?

Does somehow, having the title of coach give, you permission to do whatever you want and removes any moral value or judgment around your actions?

I confess that I am a little triggered by her behaviour because for six months a woman was texting and sexting and video chatting with my former partner, knowing that I didn’t know she even existed.

Willingly being a part of somebody’s deception against somebody that they’re saying they love.

This woman was not a coach, and was quite vulnerable herself in many ways so as much as I don't condone her behaviour in this situation I have let go of the rage.

So my questions remains "Do we need to hold coaches to a higher level of account?"

I kind of thought because of the work the coaches did that we would be holding ourselves to a higher level of account.

What's your thoughts on the topic?

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

[et_pb_section][et_pb_row][et_pb_column][et_pb_text]

We live heady days in our 20s, feeling invincible, learning about ourselves and having fun exploring who we are and what our identity is.

If you're like I was, doing different looks, flirting with all the boys, being best friends with a cool group of girls and always feeling like the daggiest of the lot.

But then you hit your late 20s, you have a career, life partner, for many there's kids, plus a mortgage to worry about and fun seems to fade from life.

Then all of a sudden you’re in your 40s and everything gets second-guessed, risk mitigated, reviewed and life is SERIOUS.

Ughhhhh

I stepped back into my rave world last night.

The space where it was about the music, PLUR (Peace, Love, Unity, Respect) being in your body dancing and not having a care in the world.

It was about appreciating those around you and being in joy in the moment.

Now my days of needing chemical assistance to enjoy the night are over and I look after myself well these days. I’m fit enough to dance without racking up three lines of speed but it was fascinating to feel myself step back into the Energy of those times.

It's a unique vibration that you do not find anywhere else.

So here’s my life reminders from going to old-school rave.

• Stay in the moment as the moment is beautiful, when you decide that it is.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt! If they come to say hi don’t automatically suspect they have an ulterior motive, they're just saying hello. Remember to see people as people not, potential threats.
• Self expression is the most wonderful thing so how are you expressing your bliss? Go do some expressing!
• Be open to new things like a remix of old favorite tracks. Things change and being open is how you grow stop shutting down. Stay open to stay fun!
• Dance like no one is watching, even though with your killer moves EVERY BODY is watching!
• Be kind!

The older you get the most serious to get and I realized as a 45-year-old single woman life being way too fucking serious the last 10 years

It coincides with when I started my business the seriousness.

This I must be a grown-up now" kind of thinking and contraction in bubbly behaviour to serious energy.

And the older we get the more we filter through risk and consequence.

Here’s what I know now to be different, to what I believed at the start of my business life.

• There’s always time to filter your experience through the eyes of fun and playfulness.
• It doesn't matter how old you are, or the situation, be playful.
• Let there be fun.

Because when you do that everything changes.

If you want to work with me on bringing in better internal self talk which then allows the space for a lighter and more "fun" approach to life, book a call in here're. Twenty minutes on me. Book here: I want more FUN!

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

[et_pb_section][et_pb_row][et_pb_column][et_pb_text]

Do you often hear the term, "you have everything you need inside of you" thrown around?

It used make me a little nuts because I was so invested in looking externally for EVERYTHING I needed.

It’s actually true though! D'oh!

Life teaches us to look externally for approval.

When we small children we get taught we have to check in with our parents. Then we start school and have teachers looking over the shoulders all the time and we have to work hard to earn that gold star right

Guess what? You’re grown-up now.

So if you still find you need external approval, what I want you to starting doing this thing called SELF VALIDATION.

It’s quite simple when you trust into it.

To get you started, I want to go to the mirror, look deeply into your own eyes and say the following OUT LOUD. (Don't worry if anyone at home thinks your nuts, they too will start doing it when they see how its helping you to change your life)

• I believe in you.
• You’ve got this.
• You know what’s right for you.
• Keep going because it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

You might want to put that on a post-it note on the mirror as a reminder to yourself to say it every single day. (And that way anyone else at home can easily do it too)

You might even get to the point where all you need to say as you look deeply into your own eyes full of love, self respect and care is quite simply this: "I love and approve of myself" (you can then give yourself a high five in the mirror and start your day)

You really don’t need everybody else’s approval.

It doesn’t matter what social media says is the in thing or the right way for things to happen.

It also doesn’t matter what your parents used to say or even believe to be true about your life enow.

It doesn’t matter what your friends think about how you live your life (and if they are judging fuckers are they really friends?)

It matters what’s going on inside your own heart.

And that being the case, let’s make it good feelings, self validation and a life happily lived.

Love you!

Hey gorgeous, if you find you need approval from others, your inner voice isn't always on your side and sometimes life feels like your always pushing shit up hill, take the quiz!

Lets see where the inner critic stands in your world and lets starts getting the voice on your side.

Take the quiz here: http://bit.ly/ImposterStanding

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

[et_pb_section][et_pb_row][et_pb_column][et_pb_text]

#thispouredoutofmyheartthismorning

A tough year of pain with joy moments scattered in between.

2019 you cracked me open and showed me parts of myself I didn’t want to acknowledge.

You pulled me apart and in the shattered pain I put myself back together.

A newer version.

Fresh and fit, full of a new view of myself.

2019 was supposed to be THE year.

That magical year where everything comes together and everything works. Business, friendships and love.

I day dreamed that 2019 was the year of getting THE ring, and planning a happy forever after.

I could see my business taking off and finally breaking the six figure window.

It didn’t work that way.

I launched my amazing programme Embrace thinking I was facilitating for others but it came along at the right time to also allow me to facilitate myself.

We all know there is no random things in the universe.

I was divinely guided, abet kicking and screaming to face my own shadow and to decide.

Contract or expand.

Face the truth of life, love and the universe.

To be better, to own what I truly desired.

As 2020 starts to peak its cute button nose over the horizon I have stopped fighting.

Resistance is futile when you know, you have always known why you are here.

Behind the scenes I have cried tears of despair and I hit rock bottom. Now I climb back up, but it’s a climb upwards I have taken before so now I own the short cut.

Thank you everyone for being my friend, sending me love, being a client and supporting the work as it grows.

A new programme is about to be birthed and it is the sum of the year 2019. It’s been created with love, tears, belief and honesty.

I am the fittest and strongest I have EVER been mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I have never seen my future with so much clarity and certainty.

I believe in me.

I see you and I believe in you too.

We’ve all got this.

The Universe/God does have our back.

I love you.

JOIN MY FREE FB GROUP TODAY!

Click the image below.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

[et_pb_section][et_pb_row][et_pb_column][et_pb_text]

Or why I would tell myself to not get into business….

Today I am sharing a brutally honest opinion as I review my life and the decision to go into business fo myself and contemplate my life if I had of chosen to stay in employment.

When I decided to go the path of setting up a coaching businessI had zero fucking idea on what I really needed to be doing.

I was pumped up win the juice of personal development seminars and the false belief that all I needed to do is tell people how I could help them and boom: clients would rain down out of the sky throwing cash and accolades of brilliance and love at me.

I was super conditioned to be a worker.

Burnout is NEVER a good reason to start a business.

To take a holiday, yes but start a business….. NO FUCKING WAY.

Yet off I went with a smile, enthusiasm and a lot of people telling me I was on the way to change thousands of lives and making loads of cash.

So what didn't work?

I didn't understand:

• What a niche was and why I needed it.
• What marketing was and how it worked.
• The technology was totally foreign to me.
• I still thought like an employee.

Not everyone is cut out for being in business unless they do the inner work first and/or start with a side hustle.

I would go back to myself ten years ago and say "Hey chick, take a holiday before you decide about starting a business.

You can do this but lets keep a part time job because the cash flow for the first five years is not what you're used to as an employee.

Also you need to use discernment on who you work with and be careful of peoples agendas when they are offering support.

You don't have to sacrifice your life for a dream. If it's not working, let it go and start over.

Maybe just do coaching as a side hustle and go back to your job. The security, freedom and peace of mind is worth it."

As you can see, I went all in.

It hurt me long term, so many things suffered.

• Emotional health
• Relationships
• Super annunation
• No holidays

Are just a few things.

Consider a side hustle to get you started.

Make sure youre clear on the big picture and the details of what youre looking to build.

There is no rush to quit your job inspire of what the all in gurus say.

If you decide you're in for a business, get support.

Not just business support but mindset and imposter voice support.

Getting help to become a business owner from the very start of my experience would have made all the difference to my results.

That's why I now do the work I do.

The inner work is critical for your success.

All the systems in the world won't make business fun if you're stressed out of your mind.

Stop the sacrifice and struggle before you begin.

If you choose to begin at all….

👑 🌼 🤩 👑 🌼 🤩

If you're afraid of being ordinary and procrastinate on the task you know will get you the biggest results book a FREE 20minute: Whats really Holding You Back call here: I want to take action!

On this call we review one area of your life and decide if it's fear, overwhelm or self worth that's stopping you and look at the top way you can move forward.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

[et_pb_section][et_pb_row][et_pb_column][et_pb_text]

It’s easy to set up a belief system that you can’t do something, because it’s all based on past experience and evidence?

I mean we all "fail" at doing things right?

Usually its the first few times we do something new which really is a false equivalence but still…

It locks in a belief that we CAN'T.

Which limits our confidence going forward.

Our brains are wonderful things and don’t know the difference between real and imagined, which is brilliant for us!

This is where visualisation comes into play.

Take running for example!I had a believe that I couldn’t run and that only my sister sisters got that particular "fitness gene" but then I got curious about what would happen if I decided I could.

One day I decided to see how far I COULD run!

*Please note I’d already been working on my fitness, on my health, eating better food, walking daily, doing more stretches and yoga so my body was already getting fit enough to be able to run.

So I picked the places I wanted to run in before I started running.

I started imagining completing the run in incremental parts.

• Run to the corner of the street.
• Then run two blocks with out stopping.
• Run three blocks but have s stretch rest in the middle. 🤣

Now I can run four blocks non-stop!

It was a great challenge to see what I could achieve using the power of creating a new decision, visualisation and setting myself up with a new habit in my mind.

It's so empowering to make htis change.

If you can do this in one area of your life, you are able to transfer this across ALL Area software your life.

What's the belief that you would like to change?

Think how does it have an impact on your life, business or relationships?

What is the driver behind it, are you moving towards a positive outcome or away from what you don't want?

Are you curious about how to change it?

Do you have a plan?

If it feels like a big change, break it down into smaller steps so it feels easier to start.

I'd love to hear what you're creating.

I work with women to shift beliefs and make big changes in their lives.

If you need help, book a fifteen minute call to ask me to ask how I can help you out.

BOOK HERE: http://bit.ly/LetsTalkBizGoals

*Consult your medical practitioner before starting a strenuous fitness routine, especially when you haven't been doing anything.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]